The past few weeks have been a bit of a roller coaster ride of emotions.
Some days are quite light. Other days are so weighed down with the heavy, wet blanket of grief ~ I can hardly keep my head up and my eyes dry.
One thing that has consistently been therapy for my soul is running.
Running ~
For the heel to pound the pavement and perhaps my heart heal a little in the process.
I started running a few weeks after Lydia went Home.
Running to order my thoughts.
To shake out the negative thoughts (and the snot).
To burn off the dross. Burn off the raw emotions.
To strengthen this weak one who realizes where true strength is found.
The LORD is my strength and my shield;
in him my heart trusts, and I am helped.
Psalm 28: first part of verse 7
Blaring Shane and Shane and pounding the pavement. Worshipping through tune and training the body at the same time.
Making time for Him. Pulling away to push myself. Stressing my heart. Stressing the point of it all.
What is the point of it all? The purpose in living?
Oh yes, to glorify Him in all things, even the stressful times.
Focusing on the ever changing sky, instead of being in a blur from the busyness. Being fascinated with the clouds, the atmospheric heavens. Captivated by the promise of Heaven. Thoughts swirling with wonderment of what it must be like to be with the King.
I smile. Pondering my girl spending time with her Prince. Her true happily-ever-after being played out at this very moment.
Getting lost in my thoughts. (I must confess, even lost in my new neighborhood a time or two.)
Running while my mind races with memories of her and running ahead in daydreams of the future. All the while trying to endure this present moment, or even better, be thankful for it. As Ann Voskamp so gracefully explains in "One Thousand Gifts".... Seeking to find the present in this present time...remembering His gifts are right in front of us if only we take the time to see them. See Him. Speak thankfulness to Him in counting the gifts.
Running under the dome of creation I feel the presence of the Lord and am in awe of His handiwork. Soaking in the beauty of it all.
Running reminds me so much of these past few years.
Perhaps God is training me?
Yes, indeed He is.
We rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope.
Romans 5:3-4
When I became a mother I could hardly bear the thought of one of my children being terminally ill and dying. I could not envision myself being able to endure such a pain.
I, in effect, did not sign up for this.
On a much lighter note,
I never envisioned Stacey Byrd as a runner girl either.
: )
God chose that I would suffer from a grieving momma-heart.
His Word says He planned every one of my days.
But now I was choosing to stress myself on purpose?
To run?
Perhaps... even to sign up to run in a race?
Let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.
It seemed so out of character for this non-athlete.
I signed up for a 5k....and a 10k.
10k in Richmond...
5k in Greenville...
And Willie and Luke ran a race too!
~ My ponderings ~
parallel thoughts on running and suffering...
Both are beneficial. Both produce strength.
Both are painful at times.
Both require a constant focus.
I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize…
~Philippians 3:13
What you put in your tank will help/hurt how you persevere.
Consistent training strengths the heart.
Water/Living water is a must.
Crying out relieves the soul.
Rest helps the mind and body heal from the trauma endured.
Don't look around and compare yourself to others. Everyone runs their own unique race.
It's best to start with a good understanding.
For running this would be shoes.
For suffering this would be understanding of who God is. His ways are not like ours. Genuine trust in His perfect love and will knowing He plans every one of our days. Nothing takes Him by surprise.
There will be times you feel like giving up. Don't. Endure. It's only for a season.
Our present troubles are small and won't last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! 2 Corinthians 4:17
Having a buddy (or a gaggle of buddies) along for the journey is a sweet blessing.
At times the trial will be extremely taxing and almost too much to bear. You will need to take it one day/step at a time. Keep breathing. Press on.
We were crushed and overwhelmed beyond our ability to endure, and we thought we would never live through it. In fact, we expected to die. But as a result, we stopped relying on ourselves and learned to rely only on God.
~2 Corinthians1:8-9
Don't take a lot of junk along for the journey. It will just weigh you down.
Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles
~ Hebrews12 : the middle of verse 1
Worshipping while you endure makes space for joy while you hurt.
There's nothing like having a crowd to cheer you on. Encouragement is like a vitamin.
Some days you may feel like you did not do very well. Don't give up. Remember : new mercies every morning.
You can't expect to run 3 miles on your first run.
Conditioning is a slow, gradual process.
You'll be surprised by the strength fleshed out during an extremely difficult spot.
Don't be afraid, for I am with you. Don't be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.
~Isaiah 41:10
After a good, long run there's nothing like seeing home on the horizon. Running up the driveway to meet my men, 1 big and 2 little. Pales in comparison to what it must be like to be welcomed Home.
When you're done, you won't regret the testing of your heart.
Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.
~James1:12
I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.
