Random thoughts during this season ~
I'm just gonna say it.....I'll be glad when this Christmas is over.
I find myself awfully sad here lately. Just can't shake this mood of blue.
All the Christmas traditions just aren't the same without her.
The busyness of the Christmas season doesn't interest me. Christmas shopping is no fun without my little sidekick. What does interest me is trying to subdue the beast of our culture which begs my children to pay more attention to what they want for Christmas rather than accepting the Perfect Gift.
I've given up trying to find the perfect gift. The Perfect Gift was given long ago.
For the wages of sin is death,
but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 6:23
So glad Lydia accepted the gift of eternal life. I'm sure if you could ask her the best gift she had ever received she'd sweetly smile and reply "Jesus".
A bad night's sleep + a sorrowful heart = a weeping woman all day long
Grieving is exhausting.
Make-up isn't doing a very good job of concealing this grieving face. When I look in the mirror, the lines around my eyes seem to trace the story of my broken heart over and over again.
I have this little 2 year old friend named Clara. She calls me Lydia. She knows my name but prefers to call me Lydia. I love that. I love to hear her name spoken.
At times I am extremely overcome ~ swept under by the wave of sadness. The undercurrent is keeping me down longer than I want to stay. I don't want to drown in this grief. Relying on Him to give me the strength to stand.
Simply stated ~
i. miss. her. terribly.
You have kept count of my tossings; put my tears in your bottle.
Are they not in your book?
Psalm 56:8
Last Wednesday night, I had the opportunity to personally thank Kristyn Getty for writing a precious song. Willie and I first heard the Getty's the summer before Lydia was diagnosed with the brain tumor. Two years later the lyrics and melody of "Still, My Soul Be Still" continue to calm my aching momma-heart.
Have a listen...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YsXMiysZfNQ
No words, Stacey. Still continuing to pray EVERY day! I wish so badly I could take even just a little of your pain away. So sorry...Love you
ReplyDeleteJust to let you know I was here...I am here.
ReplyDeleteI am at a loss for words. I am sorry.
ReplyDeleteI HAVE BEEN THERE...SEVEN YEARS AGO. SOMETIMES YOU JUST ENDURE. I AM SO VERY, VERY SORRY. IT WON'T BE LONG AND WE WILL SEE THEM AGAIN!
ReplyDeleteI see the countless CHRISTMAS TREES around the world below
ReplyDeletewith tiny lights like HEAVEN'S STARS reflecting on the snow.
The sight is so SPECTACULAR please wipe away that tear
for I am spending CHRISTMAS WITH JESUS CHRIST this year.
I hear the many CHRISTMAS SONGS that people hold so dear
but the SOUND OF MUSIC can't compare with the CHRISTMAS CHOIR up here.
I have no words to tell you of the JOY their voices bring
for it is beyond description to HEAR THE ANGELS SING.
I know HOW MUCH YOU MISS ME, I see the pain inside your heart
for I am spending CHRISTMAS WITH JESUS CHRIST this year.
I can't tell you of the SPLENDOR or the PEACE here in this place
Can you just imagine CHRISTMAS WITH OUR SAVIOR face to face
I'll ask him to LIFT YOUR SPIRIT as I tell him of your love
so then PRAY FOR ONE ANOTHER as you lift your eyes above.
Please let your HEARTS BE JOYFUL and let your SPIRIT SING
Bless you sweet mom!!
ReplyDeleteIt left out the last line-
ReplyDeletePlease let your HEARTS BE JOYFUL and let your SPIRIT SING
for I am spending Christmas in HEAVEN and I am walking with the King.
Stacey~ I think of you and your precious family all the time. Lydia's story truly became etched into my heart...just as yours has as well. I have a 5 y.o. monster (yep, he's a boy), an 8 y.o. sweet heart of a girl and a 15 y.o. man/child (the teen years, oh my)- when I think of losing one and the individual joys they bring our lives and our family, it is unfathomable. October 26th just happens to be my mom's birthday- and now will also be celebrated as Lydia's "Heaven Day" too. Since that fateful day, not a day, not even half a day goes by that I don't think of Lydia. My thoughts then quickly turn to you (and your husband as well)...I say a little prayer for you. My prayers always include The Byrd's and that prayer is for comfort from this storm, for joy and happiness mingled with the undoubtable sorrow in your hearts. I know so many others do too...and in saying all I have said above...what it really comes down to is... that I want you to know a big collective "WE"- friends and strangers alike- CARE and send LOVE to you all as you face your new normal and living without your beautiful, lovely Lydia.
My heart aches for your grieving mama heart.. keeping you in my prayers. Your posts do touch me, your words so sweet and beautifully written. Keeping you and your sweet family in my thoughts and prayers during this difficult time. Lydia was so lucky to have you for her Mom, you are an amazing lady. Sending love and prayers.
ReplyDeleteStacey, I can only imagine how much you must be hurting. Your Father knows your pain and He will comfort you through it. I pray that your good memories will outweigh your sadness and that God will ease your pain a little more each day.
ReplyDeleteMy husband (Todd) and I are Scott and Cindy Mullis' friends that live here in Chesterfield. If you ever want to get together, please e-mail me at robinbschmitt@live.com or ask someone at Grace for my phone number. Many of the old timers (including the elders) know how to get ahold of us.
Your story has and continues to touch me so deeply. You and Lydia have such beautiful hearts. I wish I could ease your pain and suffering in some way. I can not even fathom walking through such a storm with the grace and faith you have shown. Please know that you and your family are thought of each and every day.
ReplyDeleteI thought about you and Willie more than once this weekend as Jena got married on Saturday. Unless Alzheimer’s dictates otherwise, I will never forget that conversation Willie and I had two-plus years ago. But, I’m so thankful that the Lord Jesus is THE GROOM of lovely Lydia and all the Bride of Christ!
ReplyDeleteMuch love to you and yours from the Mannings…
Praying for you, my friend. Can you send me your mailing address? I have something I want to send Willie. Send it to jlpainter@gmail.com
ReplyDeleteThanks!
I prayed specifically for you this morning. God bless you.
ReplyDeleteI echo the sentiment's of so many that have posted before.. I have no words, I am sorry for your pain, God's plan is PERFECT without question, I have said many prayers for you and your family specifically, my heart aches for you... and I am here. Friends and strangers alike... we care. Your words, your family, Lydia and her story have touched us all.
ReplyDeleteTeri
"Let the treasures of the trial form within me as I go, and at the end of this long passage let me leave them at your throne. May this journey bring a blessing, may I rise on wings of faith, and at the end of my heart's testing with Your likeness let me wake." ~The Getty's "Jesus Draw Me Ever Nearer"
ReplyDeleteI think of you every time I hear this song. There is a great youtube video of it. I think if you copy this and paste it in your browser it will load. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IIyXwldPup4 It's called Watches of the Night.
Hope you have a wonderful Christmas! I am praying for you. Love, Jill
Wow! I hadn't read your post before I sent my comment. The Getty's are being a real blessing!
ReplyDeleteMy heart breaks for you and your family during this beautiful season! Prayers are going up today for all of you!
ReplyDeleteJennifer Slade Davis
Your family is remains in our prayers. I can't imagine how much you miss your sweet girl. Blessings in 2012.
ReplyDelete