Clinging

I think yesterday ranks as the hardest day of my life.  September 11th, 2009, diagnosis day, was a day of shock, but yesterday was just plain hard.  Witnessing her in pain is too much to bear.


As we were traveling down the road at 4 am, my sweet man at the wheel, I was reminded of another middle-of-the-night trip to the hospital.   January 30th, 2004 ~  Willie driving and me having labor pains, knowing that soon our precious God-gift, wrapped in the flesh of a baby girl, would be ushered into this world...into our arms.  Yesterday morning ~Willie at the wheel, me hovering over her ~ me, with pains of my heart and her, with pains in her precious head, wondering if we would soon be giving her back to Him...into His arms. I hovered over her, kissing her head and whisper-praying to our Father, "Lord, please take away her pain.  Take her if you want.  She's yours anyway, but thank you for letting us have her for a little bit. You can take so much better care of her than I can."  Don't get me wrong, I love her with ever fiber of my being,  but trying to make her stay on this broken earth just doesn't seem right.  Not when we know she wants to go Home.  She's expressed to us in many sweet, precious ways that she longs to be in heaven.  To be free from these tumors.  To be free from this painful world.

He knew even before He made her His plan for her.  
His perfect plan.


Not 87 years on this earth.
Not 47.
Not 17.
7.  


7½ she'd say more precisely.  I feel that her 7½ years have not been wasted, but have been used for His glory.  I pray her story will continue to etch His story deep into some hearts.

written August 2011

He doesn't want us clinging to His gifts,

He wants us clinging tightly to Him.

My soul clings to you;
   your right hand upholds me.

Psalm 63:8