Yesterday my sweet little sister goes by and decorates her spot.
Spring is on it's way ~ His creation echoes "new life".
Soon it will be Easter,
when the One who gave His life to make all things new for us is celebrated.
To think …
one day when Jesus comes back,
that spot where her sweet Earth clothes lie in repine,
that spot where the earth will be broken,
her sweet frame will be reunited with her spirit.
Her body will be resurrected just as His was years ago.
That's HOPE.
For the Lord himself will descend from heaven with a cry of command, with the voice of an archangel, and with the sound of the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first.
~1Thessalonians 4:16
My mind dwells on this thought when I visit her spot, when I recall His promise.
I miss her like crazy.
It hurts so deeply.
I'm tired of being sad and being sad makes me so very tired.
Vicious cycle of grief.
I cry to Him,
I know He hears me.
He holds this broken momma-heart.
It's been a little over 4 months since she left for Home.Feels like yesterday.
Yet, feels like forever
since I last held her,
since I last held her,
smelled her hair,
kissed her cheek.
kissed her cheek.
Overwhelms me to think I'll grieve the rest of my life.
I won't ever get over her.
Those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.
Isaiah 40:31
The Boys ...
These 2 little bundles of "snakes and snails and puppy dog tails"
certainly remind me that the Lord still has purpose for this momma.
They make me laugh
and cook
and clean
and do laundry
and play
and teach
and mend boo boos
and mediate disagreements
and read books
and wipe noses
and on and on.
Being Luke and Sam's momma is such a gift.
Thinking of Lydia's brief days reminds me of
the most important concept I can teach these boys,
the way to Heaven.
Jesus said to him,
“I am the way,
and the truth,
and the life.
No one comes to the Father
except through me.
John 14:6
Stacy,
ReplyDeleteI love to read your posts, you are so gifted with putting your feelings into words. I can't imagine the grief and pain you feel but your faith is such a testimony to the healing power of God. I will continue to pray for you in MA.
Debbie
I love the first part of chapter 4, "We do not grieve as those who have no hope. . ." Looking forward to tomorrow. Hoping with you ~ Julie. Claire stands here beside, her eyes overflowing with tears. . . then with a smile on her face she wants to know what Mr. Willie is playing on the piano.
ReplyDeletePlease tell Miss Claire... Mr Willie was playing the theme song from Star Wars, but his favorite to play "Linus and Lucy". : ) He knows it by heart.
DeleteLove your blog. You are so special. I'm so sorry for your loss. You are so strong. What a great mom you are...hope you know that. ~Megan
ReplyDeleteI always cry but am blessed to read your words...take care..God Bless you and your family..
ReplyDeleteBless you and know that there are many who would like to take/share your pain...I cry with you yet knowing too that our Lord is big and can handle your pain and grief...rest and receive, when you can and then just cry when you need to also... Bless each of you and especially you Stacey!!
ReplyDeleteKathy
ps...your new curtains are lovely!!
Your strength (from the Lord) is amazing. Always remember we are here, praying... But thank you for reminding us and teaching us along the way as you navigate your new reality without precious Lydia. The Lord continues to bless you with an incredible way with words. May you feel all of our love.
ReplyDeleteYou're always in my thoughts and prayers.
ReplyDeleteI love how Lydia has given wings to your writing! God has definately given you a gift and I think it is beautiful that her life has inspired you to use it.
ReplyDeleteYes, the Sovereign Lord is coming in power. He will rule with a powerful arm. See, He brings His reward with Him as He comes. He will feed His flock like a shepherd. He will carry the lambs in His arms, holding them close to His heart. He will gently lead the mother sheep with their young. Isaiah 40:10-11.
ReplyDeleteLove you girl! Praying for your Momma Heart.
Dear Stacey,
ReplyDeleteI have been reading your blog since before Lydia's homegoing. I learned about you through the Congeltons. I praise God for your honesty and ability to see the truth through the pain. I am walking almost the exact same path as you only I am 16 years ago of you. My Jordan left for Home by the same door as Lydia...same tumor...almost the exact same age. My heart has cried for you, broken for you, prayed for you. No you will never get over losing her....but the Lord will sustain you and speak to you in sweet ways through the years about her. He will reveal things to you that only you can receive when the pain has dulled a little. You can look forward to that.
If ever you need a word of hope and life from a fellow traveler...just ask. Until then I leave you some verses that I clung to for the first few years and claimed until I saw the fruit.
Ps. 30:2-3 "Lord my God, I called to you for help, and you healed me. You, Lord, brought me up from the realm of the dead; you spared me from going down to the pit." 11-12 "You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing your praises and not be silent. Lord my God, I will praise You forever."
Praying for you and the family,
Millie Morris
Thank you so much for encouragement and pointing me to the expectation of good things revealed on the path ahead. I SO love those Congletons! You'll never know how much your words mean. Thanks for giving me a glimpse of your story and for reminding me of the joy that comes from a thankful heart.
DeleteDear Stacey,
ReplyDeleteMy heart is so heavy for you, I can not know your pain, but I can and do know that the Lord hears your cries and He cries for you. You are right, that is the most important thing you can teach your children, and you and your Lydia and sweet husband have all done such an amazing job. Your daughters story has taught me to remain focused on the Lord through my illness, to seek Him with child like wonder. I love you, please keep sharing, keep fighting. You are such an inspiration.
Sending love,
April
April,
DeleteI have thought of you so very often. ♡
I have followed your blog for some time now and can only imagine what you go through with the grieving process. Just today I found out that my dad's cancer has returned and his prognosis is not good. When I got the news I thought of you and how you have shared your grieving with all of us. Your strength is so admirable and I am going to do my best to face my dad's battle with the same grace and courage you have shown. There is a suffocating type of sadness that goes with grieving but I will try to face the future with the same courage and determination you show daily. Thank you for sharing with all of us.
ReplyDeleteOh , sweet one, hold fast to the True Anchor.
DeleteCling to His truths when the waves seem to tip you over.
Breathe in the Breath of Heaven.
His grace is sufficient. ♡
Thank-you, these words are so inadequate but they are the best I have.
DeleteI always cry when I read your blog. I have been there. I love you, dear soldier!
ReplyDeleteStacey,
ReplyDeleteWe have never met yet I think of you and your family daily. Reading your posts has been such an awakening to me! I have not suffered the loss of a child and cannot even begin to imagine your grief and pain,but your words and strength and have helped so many people and I wanted to thank you. You are such a blessing!
My family went through a very difficult time after my husband lost his job. Financially and emotionally we were crushed. We were close to foreclosure and our daughter was about to start college and my husband had no income for 7 months. So many days I wanted to give up and give in to the depression and for several months I did.
I heard of your family through a friend and began to read your words of strength as I wept. I was saddened that I allowed the material things of life take such control. I had lost sight of what truly mattered! Thank you for sharing your love ,your life and your trust in the Lord! Thank you for opening my eyes and helping me to remember what was forgotten! You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers daily!