Safe and Secure ~ Under His Umbrella of Love

I so want to blog. 

I have so many thoughts filling my head.  I feel the need to unload them with words. 

I will start by giving back info. of this day....I'm gonna cheat and cut and paste my facebook statuses from today.

Post around 1pm~                                                                                                                 God has made known to us through today's MRI and wisdom of physicians that the unknown spots in Lydia's cerebellum are tumors and one in particular has grown tremendously since the scan done just 4 weeks ago. At this time Avastin will not be given b/c of possibility of shunt placement to help alleviate pressure in her precious head. Talking with neuro guys and making decisions today. Lydia is enjoying doing art with rec therapy. Would so appreciate prayers for guidance.                           

Post around 3pm~                                                                                                          Lydia is being admitted to the hospital. Possible add-on tomorrow for shunt placement. Currently waiting for a room. Please pray for calm nerves for her.      

Post around 6pm~                                                                                                              We are settled in her hospital room...she's watching "Barefoot Contessa" make a cake on TV while eating potato chips. : ) The Lord has been heavy on us and continues to provide us with indescribable peace in the midst of a storm. It's like we're underneath His umbrella of love, huddled close by Him while the rain pours. Thank you all for showering us in prayer.                                                                                                    

random thoughts

The past 2 nights I haven't slept much, not from anxiety, but because of overwhelming feeling to pray for her.  Amazingly, I have felt well rested even with little sleep.

It took 3 tries to get Lydia's IV in this morning.  By the time we got to the MRI suite she wanted me to go in with her for the scan.  The scan took about 50 minutes today....lots of time for me to sing, pray, reflect.  Thought of how God uses the number 7, perhaps He wants a certain 7 year old in Heaven with Him soon.  That's OK, she really is His anyway.

I remember when she was first diagnosed the thought of setting 4 places instead of 5 for meals just broke my heart.  Now, I'm comforted by reminding myself if she isn't sitting at my table, she's sitting at His.  And, as much as I love to decorate (especially her girly room) he has prepared a MUCH better place for her.

Overwhelmed by the love of others that has been poured out on us.  Comforted by the many prayers whispered for us.

God gives us just what we need, just when we need it.  His timing is so perfect.  He prepares us for the storm.  We need only to pay attention to His lessons.

I'm glad He doesn't reveal our future days, even though we are curious about how things will play out.  I think it would just make us more anxious, most likely robbing our joy.

So thankful for all the good days He has given us and dare I say some of the bad ones, too.  Some of the hardest days have had knitted within them some of the sweetest, most intimate, tender moments I wouldn't trade for anything.

He wants us to be aware of the glimpes of His goodness, living life with our eyes wide open to His gifts.  He wants a genuinely grateful heart that frequently utters words of thanks.
He gives gifts, we give thanks. (rough quote from One Thousand Gifts by Ann VosKamp)
It's our duty to thank Him......in all circumstances.

I feel His presence so heavy on me ~ like a mother who gets into bed with her sick child.   His comfort envelopes me.

Trusting in Him and accepting His perfect will for Lydia frees me from clinging to her,  allowing my hand to be held tightly in His as I walk this path.  I'm trying really hard to not get ahead of Him, but take only the next step right in front of me that He has purposed.

I find that what makes me cry quickest is the love for us seen in others.  I am so overwhelmed by their compassion.

These past two years have made me realize to not look at any place but Heaven as my home.  Feeling homesick today.  I think she is too.

When I was pregnant with Lydia my father passed away.  He never had the experience of holding his 1st grandchild.  Makes me smile to think of them meeting each other.

She sure looks pretty in her white gown tonight. ♥  

You keep him in perfect peace
   whose mind is stayed on you,
   because he trusts in you.
Trust in the LORD forever,
   for the LORD GOD is an everlasting rock.


Isaiah 26:3-4